I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
