I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
