i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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