I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
