He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
