only if we run a train.
done.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
