I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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