she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
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I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
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I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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