Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
