I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
