So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
be right there i have to get my cape
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
