so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
