Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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