I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So squirting runs in the family.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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