Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Randomize
