Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize