My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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