normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Be still, my beating vagina.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
