if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
