yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he was CRYING into my vagina
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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