guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
