it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
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On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
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Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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