You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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