I just saw a hot homeless man
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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