No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize