i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
