fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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