guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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