Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it glows. i had to have it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
