Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
