No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Someone signed my nipple.
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