god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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