She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
