Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
