Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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