The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
