david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
