I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
