All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
