butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
