He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Are my feet made of real feet?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
