Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
