I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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