I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
