I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
this is an emotional support booty call
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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