i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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