uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
