I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Pooping to opera.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize