whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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