Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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