Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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