I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
