its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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