I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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