just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
