marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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