he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
