I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
