Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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