im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
