i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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