this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
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Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
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The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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